Great desserts are like great convos...

Recently I had one of the best desserts I have ever, ever tasted!! As I was day-dreaming about that particular dessert today, it occurred to me that desserts are much like convos.

You see, a truly great dessert is something that is rare to find, but once you find it, it’s something to be so excited about and savoured too! Maybe you’ve never even known that great desserts are out there (maybe you are a 7/11 chocolate-bar-type-of-dessert person) But once you step into the world of great desserts there is no turning back. It’s something that can be looked forward to for days, weeks, even months or years! It’s something that is well worth the wait once you sink your teeth into it. When the dessert is great, the distractions are few, you are one with the dessert, and you are IN THE MOMENT as you devour every single morsel of it. If it’s truly great dessert, it leaves you feeling satiated, it leaves you looking back fondly upon it, you can remember specific pieces and flavours and bites you took and exactly how you felt.  You can describe and remember every little detail of it with profound accuracy. Just because you finished eating this great dessert, it doesn’t mean you forget about it, or that it even CAN be forgotten. It has forever changed your experience of the world.
As I said, truly great dessert is hard to come by... All of sudden other types of desserts don’t compare, (they may taste “cheap”, or may be too hard or too soft, too cold or too hot, too sweet or not sweet enough, consistency may feel  off or not a match to your mood, it might be too small or too big, hard to identify or rather boring, maybe it tastes fake or looks so fake you don’t even want to bite into it, maybe eating it feels more like an effort than something to enjoy and savour, maybe it leaves you feeling gross, not satiated, disappointed...) you’ve simply become a dessert snob!! J And so....you find yourself thinking you’d rather not eat the crappy desserts anymore... though of course when you go to functions you sometimes must eat the dessert that’s served and you make every effort to enjoy it, even go as far as compliment it... but you now realize there is no turning back... you are now forever changed and determined...that whenever you have a choice in the matter, you’d rather eat great dessert than mediocre, forgettable dessert. And when a craving for dessert hits you out of the blue like a ton of bricks...you realize that if you must, you’d rather wait a few days extra to enjoy it, that you’d rather even invest a little more into it, than to waste your time on crappy 7/11 chocolate bars that simply masquerade as the dessert you're truly after... and leave much to be desired.

And so... after experiencing a great dessert, as I did the other day...you learn to appreciate the intricacies of great desserts, the loving effort and care that goes into them ...and you wonder how you ever thought a Mars bar was so delish and satisfying!

You ask...so how do great desserts compare to great convos?? Re-read this entry and instead of “dessert(s)” use your imagination and think... “convo(s)”

Auto-Pilot or Conscious Choice?

When I feel like this, it’s hard for the old coping mechanisms not to kick in automatically. It’s like driving down a familiar route without even thinking about it. You find yourself buckling your seatbelt, putting the key in the ignition, taking left and right turns, accelerating, putting on the breaks, going through lights, merging on the highway, passing other motorists... and as you near your usual destination you hardly remember the minute choices you made to get there. You were simply on auto-pilot.

Well I’m realizing that a lot of my emo reactions and coping mechanisms are too often on auto-pilot. I often use certain self preservation “techniques” and coping strategies simply because that’s what I’ve always done. It’s familiar; it’s what I ‘know’.  Like the driver who’s mindlessly driving down a familiar route, I far too often take the familiar emotional route, because it’s what I’ve always done. Minute choices I make (in emotional terms it’s perhaps minute or subconscious thoughts) have become so automatic that I hardly realize I’m making them.

These days... as I’m driving down yet another familiar emotional route I think to myself...

Do I ever slow down or ‘pull over’ to re-think my strategy? Do I ever consult a ‘roadmap’ to see if the route I’m taking makes sense? Do I match my ‘driving’ approach to the current ‘road conditions’? Do I pause before putting that key in the ‘ignition’ and consciously think about A) where I want to go in the first place (as opposed to where I’m used to going) and B) how I can best get there (as opposed to  how I’ve always known to get somewhere)?

It’s so easy to fall into auto-pilot. Familiar thoughts, emotions and images enveloping my entire being. Not that it feels good, but it feels familiar. And in a strange way the familiarity sometimes feels good, like a well used pair of shoes.

Recently, I am presented with a lot of opportunities to fall into auto-pilot. But... I also know (argh...) that taking the time to reflect on the minute thoughts I have and the smallest choices I make when approaching challenging emotional situations... and then making any necessary adjustments, can result in a choice to ‘put the key in the ignition’ consciously (rather than reactively)and ‘drive down the route’ I consciously CHOOSE as the one that will lead to a far better (emotional) place than the familiar place I’ve always known.

So knowing that much...all that’s left is...to DO IT!

Easier said than done.