Auto-Pilot or Conscious Choice?

When I feel like this, it’s hard for the old coping mechanisms not to kick in automatically. It’s like driving down a familiar route without even thinking about it. You find yourself buckling your seatbelt, putting the key in the ignition, taking left and right turns, accelerating, putting on the breaks, going through lights, merging on the highway, passing other motorists... and as you near your usual destination you hardly remember the minute choices you made to get there. You were simply on auto-pilot.

Well I’m realizing that a lot of my emo reactions and coping mechanisms are too often on auto-pilot. I often use certain self preservation “techniques” and coping strategies simply because that’s what I’ve always done. It’s familiar; it’s what I ‘know’.  Like the driver who’s mindlessly driving down a familiar route, I far too often take the familiar emotional route, because it’s what I’ve always done. Minute choices I make (in emotional terms it’s perhaps minute or subconscious thoughts) have become so automatic that I hardly realize I’m making them.

These days... as I’m driving down yet another familiar emotional route I think to myself...

Do I ever slow down or ‘pull over’ to re-think my strategy? Do I ever consult a ‘roadmap’ to see if the route I’m taking makes sense? Do I match my ‘driving’ approach to the current ‘road conditions’? Do I pause before putting that key in the ‘ignition’ and consciously think about A) where I want to go in the first place (as opposed to where I’m used to going) and B) how I can best get there (as opposed to  how I’ve always known to get somewhere)?

It’s so easy to fall into auto-pilot. Familiar thoughts, emotions and images enveloping my entire being. Not that it feels good, but it feels familiar. And in a strange way the familiarity sometimes feels good, like a well used pair of shoes.

Recently, I am presented with a lot of opportunities to fall into auto-pilot. But... I also know (argh...) that taking the time to reflect on the minute thoughts I have and the smallest choices I make when approaching challenging emotional situations... and then making any necessary adjustments, can result in a choice to ‘put the key in the ignition’ consciously (rather than reactively)and ‘drive down the route’ I consciously CHOOSE as the one that will lead to a far better (emotional) place than the familiar place I’ve always known.

So knowing that much...all that’s left is...to DO IT!

Easier said than done.